Pastors have differing views about the use of a Unity Candle in weddings.
The idea (as far as anyone can tell), comes from a wedding on a daytime soap opera. So the origins are definitely not religious in nature. I can say that in 1982 when I was ordained, the practice was very new and seldom asked for. These days, there are few weddings that occur without a unity candle.
Back in the Fox Chapel Presbyterian Days (1987-1997) I recall one wedding of note because of the unity candle. You will recall that I have told you that the chancel there is divided. We had a wedding policy that there was to be no movement by the photographer or the videographer, and this was when video cameras were large. So for this wedding the brother of the bride, who was not in the wedding, was stationed where he could capture all the action, with a camera on a tripod hidden by the tall wineglass pulpit, between it and the organ console. The majority of the wedding guest could not see him or his tripod and camera.
The night of the rehearsal, the bride and groom practiced all the parts of the service, including the lighting of the unity candle. Their candle had been made by the bride’s aunt, with the wedding invitation as part of the design. After the rehearsal was completed, the bride handed the candle to one of the church’s six volunteer bridal consultants and asked her to put it someplace for safekeeping till the wedding the next day.
At last the big day arrived. The procession got underway, everyone ended up in the Chancel in their proper places. But the bride had a worried look on her face and said to me in a whisper, “Where is my unity candle?” I could not turn around to look so I said, “Isn’t it on the communion table?” She shook her head, No.
Her brother, over to our right at the video camera said, “Do you want me to go and get it?” I nodded and off he went, down the stairway, down the long hallway in the classroom area under the sanctuary and off to find the wedding consultant.
Meanwhile the service progressed. I must confess that I had a bit longer prayers than the order of marriage provides. Indeed, I recall that I threw in a few extra prayers for good measure. The vows were done, the rings were exchanged, the homily delivered and we were nearing the point of no return, when finally the brother appeared at the doorway by the stairs, breathless, unity candle in hand.
“Do you still want to light your unity candle?” I asked the bride and groom in a whisper. They both nodded their heads.
“Wait right where you are till I tell you to move,” said I. Then, I went over and got the candle from the brother, and in as stately a manner as I could muster, did a one man procession with it, up to the communion table, and slowly placed it there as if we planned it that way. Then I indicated to the couple that they could light it, and after they did, I pronounced them man and wife, we had the benediction and everyone recessed.
Later, at the reception, not one but four young ladies who had been at the wedding came up to me at different points in the evening and said,
“I loved the symbolism of not bringing the Unity Candle in until the end of the service. And when I get married, I am doing it exactly the same way!”
So, if you have been to a wedding any time after the early 1990s, at which they brought the Unity Candle in at the end, like that, now, you know where the whole idea began.
